Before

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In our Stone to Flesh School of the Heart we are learning how to recognize God's voice and how to respond to the movements of His presence in our hearts. The first week was all about leaving the slavery zone and becoming sons and daughters of the Father, from remaining only workers to becoming his Beloved in whom He is pleased. Here is one of the reflections from the weekly assignments, written by Jillena Wismer:

"Before"

Before

All creation-He thought of me

Before

I encountered Him-He sent His only son to save me

Before

I was in my mother’s arms – He held me in His Heart

Before

My first breath - He breathed life into me

Before

My first heartbeat - His heartbeat skipped for me

Before

My eyes opened – His eyes lavished me with His love

Before

I was able to speak - He called me Beloved

Before

I experienced pain - He suffered for me first

Before

I reached out to Him - His hands were already stretched out to me

Before

I took my first steps - He ran to me

Before

I experienced loss - He wept

Before

I was rejected - He was rejected first

Before

I was hurt - His heart suffered for me

Before

I had shattered dreams - He dreamed of my eternal happiness with Him

Before

I was lonely - He sought my friendship

Before

I was ridiculed - He was mocked as a king

Before

I was lost - He searched for me

Before

I sought love elsewhere - He pursued me

Before

I felt unwanted - He choose me

Before

I hit rock bottom - His hand was stretched out to me

Before

I was scared - He led me gently by the hand

Before

My lips opened in prayer - His ears sought my voice

Before

I turned away from Him - He sought to draw me back to His love

Before

I experienced poor reflections of His love - He loved me unconditionally first

Before…Before…Before…

It was inspired by time I've spent in prayer in response to my struggle with accepting the unconditional love of the God the father and  how my experiences of love have been poor reflections of it. I asked God in prayer to step in the place of those who don't love me as they should. To my surprise He did not agree to my request and I kept hearing the word "before." This has puzzled me, but I finally understand what God meant. I was asking Him to be in the place of others who don't love me as they should, but He reminded me that He unconditionally loved me before they even existed. I work in education so I am not surprised that the Holy Spirit popped the following analogy into my head.  When I was asking God to step in the place of those who don't love me as they should, it was like I was asking God to be the substitute teacher when He was the main teacher. Those who are poor reflections of His love are like the poor substitute teachers who come into a classroom. While those who are good reflections of His love are like good substitute teachers who come into a classroom. However, even the best substitute teachers cannot replace the main teacher in the classroom. Therefore, even the best reflections of God's love for me on earth cannot replace His unconditional love for me."

Iwona Bednarz-Major